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Why You Need High-Maintenance Girlfriends

 

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by Melodee Forbes in Encouragement, Kindness, Love, Sisterhood

 

Wow! She must mean something to you if you flew all the way from Texas to attend her wedding…” was the comment I heard again and again.

And how do you know each other? Where did you meet?” was another question that was asked again and again.

We met online. Through a school. No, no not a university, but an online academy. After we joined, we got to know each other through a private Facebook group.

 

To those unfamiliar with technology—I’m sure they thought we were a bit crazy.

Truth is, making an investment in that online academy was quite possibly one of the best decisions I’ve ever made in my life.

Not just because I was able to attend Katie’s fabulous wedding, bring her as my guest for a business event in LA, partner with her for my recent online event or share my joy when I made my first sale.

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It was because I found a community, a sisterhood… a place that’s like a family reunion that you never wanna leave.

One of my favorite life quotes of all time,

 

Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self-esteem, first make sure that you are not, in fact, just surrounded by assholes.” -William Gibson

 

Why You Need To Upgrade (aka ‘High Maintenance’) Your Girlfriends

1 – Insecurity grows where negativity abounds.

The biggest impact on you is the people around you. If you are constantly around negativity IT WILL AFFECT YOU.

Let me be super frank with you, there was a time in my life that I tried to pacify and serve and help and encourage these people. It never worked. They were comfortable in their misery, and I had to realize it wasn’t my responsibility to change them.

It sucks when you want something more for someone than they want for themselves, but the good news is BETTER PEOPLE are out there waiting to celebrate, honor, respect, and give to you.

When in doubt, keep in mind this: positive peeps don’t leech. If you feel like you’re being sucked dry, you probably are and it’s time to create distance (note: you don’t have to burn bridges to create distance).

 

2 – Even positive Pollyanna’s get pissed.

Hello human. Hello life. Let’s skip the butterflies, lollipops and gumdrops for a sec. If you know me, you know I love me some positivity. However, let’s be really real… life can be hard.

 

Bad things happen.

Memories aren’t forgotten.

It can get real hard.

The reason why it’s so important to have high-maintenance girlfriends is because you don’t need pacification when you’ve fallen on your face. You don’t need to be encouraged by a group of complainers, whiners, or excuse makers.

 

You need a gentle, firm reminder that:

yeah that sucks, but you’ll get out of it.

yeah that sucks, but one day you’ll laugh at it later

yeah that sucks, but one day you’re gonna help so many people with your story.

There’s a big difference between empathy and complacency.

And you’ll never find a group of winners with a bunch of complainers.

 

So, buttercup, your assignment today is to write down the three girlfriends that you chat, text, Facebook message, and/or dine with… on the regular and ask yourself the following questions:

  1. Of the 8 of 10 conversations we’ve had lately, are they uplifting, encouraging, inspiring, and doing something positive?
  1. How do they respond to pressure and problems?
  1. Am I excited to share with them my wins (i.e. new car, promotion, sale, new home, book deal, etc.)?
  1. When I share my wins, are they the first to contribute and show support?
  1. Do I leave their presence with more peace and joy?

 

If the answer is primarily no, sister, you’ve got work to do… and it’s likely time to create space away and that’s okay.

 

Not everybody that starts with you is supposed to end with you.

 

Have a beautiful week!

Talk to you soon,

Melodee

 

P.S.

Starting an exciting new video series and it’s coming out June 1st! Keep a watch in your inbox for more details!

  • Tryphena Wade

    Ummm…this is AMAZING and I will be sharing. I get really tired of people celebrating their low maintenance friends, meaning the friends who they don’t check in with enough to really know what’s going on in their lives. Friendships take work and effort and energy just like anything else in your life that you want to THRIVE! Thank you for sharing this. It has been in my heart for a while!

  • Tryphena,

    I totally agree and you are exactly right friendships take work, effort and energy just like anything else and that’s why it’s imperative that you choose wisely. Quality over quantity any day of the week!

    So glad you enjoyed this post and I appreciate you sharing it! xo

    Melodee

 

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