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30 Simple (and Powerful) Lessons I’ve Learned in 30 Years

Because somebody should benefit from my scars and stars.

 

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VENDORS I WORK WITH:
  1. There is no magical number for grief.

There really isn’t and don’t listen to anyone that pressures you to “get over it” already.

  1. Making memories is as important as making money.

Not being a millionaire yet, doesn’t mean you have to wait to enjoy life.

  1. Shit happens and sometimes it’s no one’s fault.

Seriously. Not every tragedy is a mystery. Sometimes, shit just happens and there is no meaning and it’s no one’s fault.

  1. Celebrity doesn’t equal integrity.

Usually the people who say they have “integrity” and “over deliver” are liars. You don’t have to profess what you truly are and if the masses are consuming it, do the opposite.

  1. Popularity doesn’t equal profitability.

Having 7,000 likes and $70.00 in your bank account means you’re popular and broke.

  1. Friendly isn’t the same as trustworthy.

Be open and discerning.

  1. Massages are worth every penny.

Seriously. Bypass cable. You can get a massage on any budget. Make this a practice earlier.

  1. Have as high standards with employers as you do lovers.

8 hours of your work life is equally as important as the other hours.

  1. Therapy is needed even though you grew up in a happy family and it’ll be the best money you’ll ever spend.

Because even positive Pollyanna’s need support and there is no shame in asking for help.

  1. Even if you have good intentions, you can’t change or control anyone and it’s a waste of energy to try.
  1. Leaving the institution of religion is a good decision.

You were meant to break the box and color outside the lines. Religion isn’t for free thinkers, happy seekers, or those with an inquisitive nature.

  1. Be wary of anyone who hates questions.

No one has ever made a difference by staying stagnant, dependent or robotic.

  1. When choosing a mentor, don’t choose them based on results alone. Choose them on their values and beliefs.

An asshole with a million dollars is still an asshole and should be treated as one. There are 7 billion people on this planet. You can learn from anyone. Choose someone who is positive, kind, peaceful, faithful and profitable–this is your definition of successful.

  1. Procrastination doesn’t mean you are lazy. It means there’s resistance.

Get to the root and you’ll see better fruit. See 20.

  1. After consistent communication, eliminating anyone in your life that makes you feel inadequate is 100% okay, necessary, and leads to a better life.

Loyal hearts have deep roots. Sometimes, those roots need to be uprooted so you can experience better fruit.

  1. Not drinking, because you don’t want to is okay and needs no explanation.

It doesn’t make you a “good girl” (or a bad girl) – it just makes you a girl that doesn’t drink alcohol. There are far more important things in the world than trying to justify or explain it.

  1. You’ll meet some of the best women in your life after 25.

Really. It’s just the beginning.

  1. It isn’t the quantity but the quality of your inner circle that matters.
  1. No one knows what’s for you, except for you and the Holy Spirit.
  1. Worry less about offending people, and more about living your life.

Opinions don’t pay bills.

  1. God loves you and it isn’t dependent on how much you read the Bible, pray or do good work.

God isn’t as obsessed with Himself as religion would have you to believe. Just like your parent’s love isn’t conditional neither is God’s love. Spend less time trying to make God happy, and realize like any good parent He’s happy when YOU are happy.

  1. Focus on mastery not dabblery.

Pick a focus. Work harder at it. Study under a master. Practice. Practice. Practice. Become a master. (in that order)

  1. Spend more time with the people who really matter like your sister.

Your sister takes things harder, even though she appears stronger. It’s not your job to figure her out, it is your honor to love her by having more fun.

  1. Expect less from those you love, and more from yourself.

Life is 1,000% better when you expect less from others and more from yourself. You can only control you.

  1. Being an overachiever is awesome, being a constant worrier is not.

Excellence is rare, it’s glorified and honored. Worrying is stress, it’s disease contributing and worthless. Figure out a way to relieve the stress as you work hard.

  1. Practice relieving your emotions, instead of ignoring and stuffing them.

Crying doesn’t mean you lack faith. Tears don’t mean you’re in unbelief. It’s human to feel and emotions are apart of this function. You can’t direct them if you ignore them.

  1. Don’t stop being outspoken, it’s your gift.

Most people are passive, sugar coated and politically correct. . . and you have never been this person. Stop wasting time trying.

  1. Despite the scandals and stories, real love exists and the proof is your mother and father. Never forget.

Your father was faithful to your mother (and vice versa) for 27 years. They overcame poverty, and inequality, and stood together through cancer. You had the privilege of watching real love in real time in real life. Hold your standards, keep ’em high and never settle for a love that’s any less than the best you had the honor to witness.

  1. Arguing on social media is a colossal waste of time.

Really. This isn’t how millionaires are made. See 30.

  1. Bitching on social media does nothing. Doing something does.

It’s easy to whine, moan, and complain about anything. It takes zero effort. Hashtagging something isn’t doing anything. It’s complaining loudly. Put more effort into doing instead of complaining.

  1. Tell that extended family member to zip it about your weight or else you’ll spend less time with them.

It isn’t disrespectful to require respect even if it’s from an elder. See 15.

  1. Start investing in compound interest earlier. Seriously. The earlier you put $100+ a month towards a ROTH IRA the better.
  1. Focus on earning more.

There is a cap on saving, but there is none on earning.

  1. Older doesn’t mean wiser. It can mean dumber. Listen to elders, sure, but don’t use their wisdom unless you agree with their beliefs and like their results.
  1. Use your mother’s death as a motivator not as a depressor.
  1. Don’t censor, or filter you because the magic maker, the secret sauce… it’s all in you. See 20. Use your voice it’ll inspire others to make better choices.

That’s a wrap! So thrilled to have made another decade. (Not sure why there is such shame around getting older, but I’m proud to be thirty. #NotAshamed)
I’d love to know one thing you’d tell your younger 30 year old self?

Share your wisdom by leaving a comment below!

With love and hugs,
Melodee

 

 

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